I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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