Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
