can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
