Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
