dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
