so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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