Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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