Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize