I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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