I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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