I have demons in me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
