i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
