Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
