i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
