he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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