and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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