my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
