do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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