I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
