so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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