dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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