I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
