Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you traded sex for a burrito?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
