i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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