I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
