i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
