First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
