do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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