I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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