I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
