Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize