I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
