No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
