i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
