I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
