I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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