I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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