Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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