yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
