I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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