It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize