I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Watching her eat just hurts me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
