This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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