The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
