We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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