The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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