There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
