Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
