I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
