I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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