The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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