I'm going to jail i love you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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