I must be too annoying 4 u.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
