sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
