he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
