i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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