She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
