Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
