I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
