He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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