Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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