I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
